What No One Ever Tells You About Being Mildly Famous

by Mara

I woke up this morning feeling sick to my stomach. Usually when I’m feeling ill I like to rest up and imagine my white blood cells as tiny warriors in the most just war ever. (“Fight on, little guys.”) But today that wasn’t enough, and after many failed attempts at keeping food down, I ended up at the ER.

I’m completely fine now: I was set up on an IV and after some rest, felt much better. One of the nurses said they’ve been seeing a lot of twenty-four hour stomach viruses. But to make sure that’s what caused it, I was given a couple of blood tests. So I was lying in the hospital bed, in a gown and pajama pants, my face pale (and on any given day when healthy, I am paler than a friend of mine who was once mistaken for having albinism) and my hair tangled, when my phlebotomist said, “Has anyone ever told you that you look like the girl in that Christmas movie?”

Let this henceforce be known as Mara’s First Law: If you ever become mildly famous, you will only ever be recognized when you are looking and/or feeling terrible.