The Crush Feedback Loop (And News!)

by Mara

Obligatory pre-post preamble: While I have been trying to update more frequently, in the next few weeks (and months) I am changing jobs and will likely not have much time to blog. However, if you are in New York, you can see me tell stories live at The Jukebox Show at Union Hall on June 11th, and RISK! at The PIT on June 28th. Both events are very much for the over-18 crowd, and Union Hall might even be 21 or over (it is in a bar). I’ve seen both shows, and they are fantastic, but some of the material can be quite risqué. Mine won’t be (this time around), but I’d still exercise caution. Anyway, on to the post!


The Crush Feedback Loop:

An Observational Analysis Compiled from Sixteen Years of Unrequited and Semi-Requited Romance

  • STAGE ONE: I like you. You do not seem to like me.
  • STAGE TWO: I start to flirt with you and send little hints that I like you. You do not seem to be catching on.
  • STAGE THREE: I become hesitant in expressing my affections because you do not seem to like me, and possibly:
  1. Because I do not know you very well,
  2. Because I know you too well,
  3. Because you have recently had your heart broken,
  4. Or because of something else entirely.
  • STAGE FOUR: I stop flirting with you… just as you are catching on to the fact that I like you.
  • STAGE FIVE: I tell myself I do not like you anymore, and try to put some distance between us.
  • STAGE SIX: You start flirting back. I am either confused or unresponsive, due to your lack of response in Stages One through Four and my commitment to getting over you.
  • STAGE SEVEN: Your mutual flirting makes me reconsider. I think things over and come to the conclusion that I do, in fact, still like you.
  • STAGE EIGHT: While I have been thinking things over, you have decided that I must not like you, or else I would have said or done something by now.
  • STAGE NINE: You decide you do not like me anymore, or at least are not going to do anything about it.
  • STAGE TEN: Go back to STAGE ONE and repeat, ad nauseum, and ad sexual frustratum.